Page 8: Joe’s First Time in the Bathroom

Joe opened his eyes, staring straight ahead at the ceiling.  Today, just like yesterday after his ECT, Alice, the nurse, was there to raise his bed to a sitting position. 
“Time to wake up, Mr. Aden!  Enough rest for you!” bellowed Alice.

There was that person again.  Every time she talked it hurt Joe’s ears.  Joe didn’t have a word for what she sounded like, he just knew he didn’t like it when she talked.

Joe felt an enormous pressure around his stomach.  He took his hand and placed it over his lower belly and groaned.  

“Do you need to go to the bathroom?” Alice asked.

Uncertain, Joe shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, either you do or you don’t!  Right in there,” the nurse pointed to the closed door in Joe’s room.  Joe didn’t move.  “Need help?  You need to ask,” Alice said impatiently. 
She took Joe’s arm and helped him get out of bed and led him over to the door. She opened the door and pointed to the toilet.  She backed out of the bathroom and closed the door.

Joe came out about 10 minutes later.  Alice was holding her clipboard, making notes on Joe’s chart.  “Did you urinate or have a bowel movement, Mr. Aden?”

Joe looked at Alice with a puzzled look on his face.

“Did you pee or poop?” 
“Don’t know.”

Thinking that Joe was just trying to be difficult, Alice went into the bathroom and looked in the toilet.  Clearly he did both, but she noticed that there was no toilet paper in the toilet.
“Mr. Aden, did you wipe? 

“Wipe?”

“Your butt?”

Joe didn’t understand. 
Alice shook her head in disgust.  “Did you wash your hands?”

“Wash my hands?”

Not knowing whether or not to be concerned or perturbed, Alice explained to Joe what he had just done and why it was important to wash his hands.  She finished with, “Don’t you normally wash your hands when you are done going to the bathroom?” 

“Don’t know, do I?”

What a smart aleck, Alice thought, and she quickly finished filling out Joe’s chart and left shaking her head.


Facts:  This whole posting is true, including the nurse, who Joe described as a “drill sergeant.”
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