Blank Pages Available on Kindle

The culmination of the blog, Blank Pages…A Life Erased is now available as a Kindle book on The title of the book is Refilling the Pages, by Marti Lynn Lewis.

Please Like Lone Rock Publishing

As many of you may know, I abandoned this project a while ago due to possible legal implications. As such, I have not posted or even visited the blog since my last posting. When I logged in tonight, I was amazed that I am still receiving close to 100 page views every month.

So, I’m asking a favor of all those of you who visit Blank Pages–if you haven’t already, please like the Lone Rock Publishing Facebook page. The link is listed here on the blog site. Thanks ever so much, and stay tuned. Who knows what could happen next….


What Would You Do?

I’ve been quietly sitting here every day contemplating what my next move will be in regards to my book. I told you late summer that I would be publishing it as an E-book this fall.  Fall is almost over. No book.

Lots of things to consider. First, protecting the characters–it’s been made loud and clear that certain people don’t want people figuring out who their character is in the book.  Second, the financial aspects of self publishing. Third, I began to rethink how I’ve positioned this book. Those of you who know the characters know that this is a true story. But it was hard to piece together everything accurately because it happened so many years ago, and no one has the same recollection of what exactly happened. Lots of rumors and gossip, as well as personal opinions and speculation make what really happened hard to define. Some people have passed away and others are no where to be found. 
So as such, I changed the names and places and filled in the missing information with sensationalized fiction. In addition to protecting the characters, it also protects me from any libel action. But does making it a complete work of fiction take away the importance of what really happened here? I mean, a grown man completely lost his memory due to ECT in the early 1990s at a world-renowned medical clinic. Unbelievable–does making it fiction then make it untrue because it’s so unbelievable?
I was going to put Blank Pages to rest and not publish, but I’ve continued to get hits on this blog, even though I’m not posting anymore. Every day, I have new readers who are reading each posting and continuing through the story. Every day, people say, “When is your book coming out–I can’t wait to finish the story.” 
So, blog readers…tell me, what do you think I should do? 

Coming Soon….

Blank Pages was going to be released this Spring.  Well, we all know how life gets in the way, don’t we?

I’m pleased to announce, however, that editing and design are currently underway, and expect to see Blank Pages as an E-Book later this summer.

Sections of the first half of this book have been posted on this blog, but there is still so much to Joe’s story that hasn’t been written about on this blog.  Stay tuned for more information as the pub date gets closer.

Page 34: Back in the Hospital

As Christa slowly approached Joe, she could see that he was crying, and she knew at that point that he was not having one of his seizures.

“Joe, honey, what’s wrong?”

“I got out of the car. I couldn’t find the house,” Joe sobbed.  “I started walking.  I don’t know where I am.”

John had come up behind Joe and Christa and overheard what Joe had said. “That’s it, Christa. We’re taking him back in, right now.  He can’t live his life like this, and neither can we.  They need to do something.”

John and Christa took Joe to the car, and John immediately headed toward Rochester.  Thirty minutes later they were standing in the emergency room of St. Mary’s Hospital, explaining Joe’s situation to the attending nurse.

“I’m not exactly sure what we can do for your son, sir,” the nurse politely explained.  “I would suggest that you call his psychiatrist in the morning.”

“We’re not going anywhere.  If we can’t talk to his psychiatrist until morning, then you are putting him in a hospital bed tonight.  It’s unsafe for our son to not be under proper supervision,” John demanded.

The nurse made a phone call, then left the nurses’ station for a few minutes.  When she came back, she began completing the paperwork to have Joe admitted.  “We can admit Joe back up to the psychiatric ward for tonight, but in the morning you will need to get a referral from his primary psychiatrist over at the county clinic.”

“What about Dr. Spitzack?” Christa inquired.  “Can’t he refer Joe?”

“Unfortunately Joe was originally referred to us by Dr. Owen at the county clinic.  Once Joe’s treatment was complete, he was no longer under Dr. Spitzack’s care. You will need to call Dr. Owen in the morning,” the nurse instructed.

With that, six weeks after he had been originally discharged, the Aden’s signed the admission papers for Joe to be placed back in the psychiatric unit at St. Mary’s, and Joe was taken up to a room and given a sedative to help him sleep.

As Joe dozed off, Tessie came to see him again.

Page 33: The Incredible Hulk

Christa remembered that it was only a couple of months after Joe had been back from college that he had his first seizure, except at the time, she didn’t know what was happening.  All of a sudden Joe became so enraged.  Nothing in particular set him off.  He just start yelling and screaming like a mad man.  And, strong!  Why, he gained what seemed to be at least three times his normal strength–almost like the Incredible Hulk.  He picked up the kitchen table and hurled it across the room.  Christa tried to calm him down, but it seemed the more she talked, the more enraged he became.  He picked Christa up and was ready to throw her like a football when all of a sudden, he managed to snap out of it, put Christa back down and became so weak, he could barely stay standing.  He was so weak, he couldn’t even take a drink of water.

Christa took Joe to the emergency room after the first episode, and they hospitalized him for observation.  The doctors determined what Christa had witnessed was a convulsion or seizure of some sort.  They didn’t know what precipitated it, but they thought it might have something to do with the concussion he sustained when he got hit playing football.

Joe continued to have these seizures on and off for years.  Once at Stellar Motors, he became so strong during one of his seizures that he bent a cast-iron semi brake drum with his bare hands, and another time, he punched his fist into the back bumper of a car, placing a dent at least 1-inch deep.

Joe saw doctors on more than one occasion to see why he kept having the seizures or if anything could be done to stop them, but the doctors didn’t seem to have an answer or a solution for him.  Those around Joe had learned that when he would have one of them, they needed to stay perfectly still and quiet so as not to provoke him more.  And, once his seizure had subsided, they knew that Joe would most likely collapse and sleep for the remainder of the day.  

FACTS:  Joe did have these types of seizures and doctors attributed them to his concussion that he received while playing football for Winona State University.

Page 32: Acting Crazy

“Christa? Harold Westerly.”

“Yes, Harold, how are you?”

“Fine, but thought I should let you know that Joe is out here in my yard seeming a bit confused. He’s walking around in circles, muttering to himself. Tried to get him to come into the house, but he keeps pushing me away.  You know how strong he is, and I was afraid he was having one of those seizures–you know, like he used to get when he’d get all crazy and stuff.”

Christa ran outside, hollered at John to get in the car, and off they drove to Harold’s farm, only about a half mile down the road.  When they pulled up into Harold’s yard, Joe was flinging his arms in the air, pacing back and forth, pounding his head.  Just as Harold had said, “like a crazy man.”  Christa approached Joe slowly for fear that Harold might be right about Joe having one of his seizures. 

Joe had been having seizures for years–ever since he had been hurt at Winona State.  It was his freshman year, and his only year, because after that, he couldn’t play football anymore. 

Page 31: We Can’t Find Joe…Again!

Christa heard Ted’s car drive up. She peered out the side living room window from her rocker and saw Ted drive off.  She waited with anticipation to hear the back door open and the sound of Joe’s footsteps.  Seconds turned into minutes, but she didn’t hear anyone come in the house.  She got up out of her chair in the living room and walked into the kitchen.  Then she walked down the hallway and looked in Joe’s room.  No Joe.  She walked back into the living room where John was sleeping in the chair.
“John, wake up,” Christa said as she shook his arm. “Ted dropped Joe off.  I saw his car leave the yard, but Joe’s not in the house. I’m afraid he may have taken off again.”

“Huh?” John said half sleeping.

“I’m going outside to look for him,” Christa said worriedly.

Pulling himself up from his slouching position in the chair, John rubbed his eyes. “Damn it, Christa, we can’t keep living like this.  Having to watch him every minute. It’s like taking care of a baby, except he’s 40 years old!”

Christa knew that John was right, but for now she ignored him and put her shoes on. John got up out of his chair and did the same.

With flashlights in hand, John and Christa ventured outside, calling Joe’s name as they checked the barn, the sheds, and all the outside buildings.  As Christa passed the house on her way to the apple orchard, she heard the phone ringing in the house. She ran inside, hoping she would answer it before the person on the other end hung up.

Out of breath, she picked up the receiver and answered with anticipation, “Hello?”

Page 30: Joe Goes to McDonald’s

Ted and Joe drove off and headed toward Rochester.  Ted kept talking about anything and everything he could think of.  Joe just sat there, listening, but not really understanding anything. Joe was frustrated, but tried not to show it.  The stranger was nice, his mom and Sharon seemed to know who he was, so Joe trusted him as well.

They pulled up into the McDonald’s parking lot.  Ted got out of the car and proceeded to the front door under the Golden Arches.  Joe followed.  When they got inside, Ted ordered 12 Big Macs, 10 for Joe, and two for himself.  He ordered four large fries and two Cokes to go with it. 
Joe watched intently as Ted ordered and the person behind the counter scurried to get them their food.  Joe thought it was interesting how the food came wrapped up.  He had only seen food at the hospital and food that his mother cooked for him.  Ted carried the tray over to a table, quickly opened one of the Big Macs and sunk his teeth into one, chewing ever so slowly, savoring the taste of the beef, cheese and its special dressing. Joe just sat there looking at Ted. 

“Eat, dang it!” Ted ordered with a smile on his face.  “Don’t tell me you lost your appetite, too?  Remember the time you ate five large Pizza Hut Supreme pizzas?”

Joe watched what Ted had done, so he opened the little box, but then he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to use his hands to pick up what was inside. Ted was using one hand, Joe noted, so that’s what he tried. It seemed awkward to him. The burger fell apart, some of it dropping back into the carton, and some dropping to Joe’s lap.

Ted laughed, “First time eating?”

Joe answered, “This? Yes.”

Ted’s face became somber, “Seriously, Joe? You don’t know what a Big Mac is?”

As innocent as could be, Joe replied, “Nope. First time. Never had these in the hospital. Just had a watermelon the other day for the first time, too.” 

The food just about dropped out of Ted’s mouth. Was this for real, because if it wasn’t, Joe was doing a great job of acting. “How about fries?”

“Fries?” Joe asked.

“Yeah, these long things right here,” Ted took some fries out of the little red container, dipped them in ketchup, and ate them.

Joe did the same thing. “First time eating fries,” Joe replied. “I like them. I like the…what did you call it…big…?”

“Big Mac?” Ted finished the sentence for him. “You should, I’ve seen you eat as many as 15 in one sitting.”

Not exchanging many words after that, Ted and Joe finished their meal at McDonald’s. Not knowing what more to say or talk about, the ride back to the Aden farm was quiet. As Ted pulled the car into the Aden’s yard, he said, “Hey Joe, glad you’re back. Maybe we can get together some night for some one-on-one?”

“Sure,” said Joe, not knowing what he was committing to, but thinking it was the right thing to say.  Joe opened the door, got out of the car and started walking toward the house.

Page 29: Ted Finds Joe

Ted was almost to Elsmore, and he saw Joe standing in the ditch, just standing there.  He slammed on his brakes, pulled over to the right side of the road, and rolled down the passenger window. “Joe, what the hell ya doin’?”
Joe looked at Ted and the car with a puzzled look on his face.  “I don’t know where I am.”
“Get in the car, jackass,” Ted teased.  “You got your whole family worried about you.  Let’s get you home.”
Joe went up to the car, opened the door and got in the car.
“How’s it goin’, big guy?”  Ted asked as he socked Joe in the arm.
“Not good,” Joe said solemnly as he looked straight ahead out the window.
“Too tough for ya?” Ted asked in reference to his punch.
Joe turned his head and looked at Ted, but didn’t say anything.
For someone who has supposedly lost his memory, he sure is acting like he knows who I am, Ted thought.  “Hey, how about we go into Rochester and hit McDonald’s.  Let’s see if you can still eat 10 Big Macs in one sitting.”
Joe didn’t know who he was in the car with or what this person was talking about, but Joe figured he must know him because he was friendly enough.  Joe picked up on the word “eat,” so he responded to Ted, “Sure.”
Dang, thought Ted, he hasn’t lost his memory.  He still knows what a Big Mac is!
Ted turned the car around and headed toward Rochester, stopping at the Aden farm to tell Christa and Sharon that he and Joe were going to McDonald’s.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Ted,” Christa said. “He’s not going to know what to order to eat.”
“Aw, he’ll be fine.  He’s in good hands with me, Mrs. Aden.”  
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